Thank you to one of our club members, Bethany, for this post.
Today is Asexual Visibility Day. Did you know it’s estimated 1% of the population are asexual? Chances are you have a few asexual friends, have you ever spoken with them about their identity? Maybe you’re a bit unsure about what their identity means for them?
Asexuality (Ace) is usually defined as reduced or absent sexual and/or romantic attraction to others. It is a spectrum; some people identify as demi-sexual/Grey-A (can experience sexual attraction once a strong emotional connection is formed), others consider themselves hetero/homoromantic asexuals, and some people feel aromantic asexual best describes them (a person who experiences neither romantic or sexual attraction to others).
It should not be confused with celibacy (abstinence from sex for religious reasons) and it is not a medical disorder. Like being Gay, Lesbian, Trans or Bi, it is an innate part of being our authentic selves and lack of ace awareness means a slow journey of discovery for many, including me.
Asexual people can form close relationships with others. Relationships don’t have to be romantic to be important, and sex doesn’t make a relationship more real. Your asexual friends not broken, we are valid, happy and living our best lives.
Personally, I see my asexuality as just one part of my multi-faceted identity. I’m a daughter, granddaughter, friend, christian, runner, musician, veterinary surgeon, animal lover, currently stranded traveller and so much more. As mentioned, it’s been a slow and ongoing journey of discovery, but joining Newcastle Frontrunners has given me a space to be myself and meet some awesome people who are also being their true authentic selves.
So if anyone ever tells you they’re asexual, ask them to elaborate if they feel comfortable. Find out what makes them tick, what their identity means to them. You will validate them and might just learn something about yourself. https://www.forbes.com/sites/jamiewareham/2020/10/25/how-to-be-an-asexual-ally-learn-why-some-asexual-people-have-sex-and-accept-that-most-dont/?sh=66123f0148d8